Black Pearl Parody the bloopers
by snowflakes and ink
Summary: The title explains it!
1. Chapter 1

The curse of the black pearl:

Scene one: Young Elizabeth Turner was standing on one of the Navy's Ship singing.

Young Elizabeth: Yo ho! Yo ho! A pirate's life for me!

Gibbs: 'who decided that it is a good chance to scare the poor girl' Boo!

Young Elizabeth: 'screams and fell off the ship' AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Director: Cut!

Take two:

Young Elizabeth: Yo ho, Yo ho, a pirate's life for me!

Gibbs: 'trying to be a gentleman' Ahem! According to the law book page 145 line 256, singing about pirates in this smoke is not prohibited.

Young Elizabeth: Oo

Director: Cut! Take three!

Take three:

Young Elizabeth: Yo ho, Yo ho, a pirate's life for me!

Gibbs: Hullo yer little missy! Whatcha doing?

Director: Cut! Gibbs! Are you wrong in the head today?

Norrington: maybe he forgot his medicine.

Director: shut up! Point taken! Go back to your position!

Norrington: Geez! I was just trying to help!

Director: Hahahaha! Shut up!


	2. Chapter 2

Oops, forgot to put a disclaimer in front, whatever, I don't own anything from the pirates of the Caribbean the curse of the black pearl, so, yeah, enjoy!

Scene two:   
Elizabeth awoke suddenly in bed; she scrambled to the drawer and removed the medallion.

Elizabeth: oooo! Shiny! 'Pockets the medallion'

Director: wrong lines! Cut!

Take two:

Elizabeth: Pretty necklace! Geez! Will must have be such a sissy to be keeping something so shiny and girly! 'Giggles'

Director: cut!

Take three:

Elizabeth: 'tries to open the drawer but could not' someone unstuck these stupid drawers please!

Director: CUT!!

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Scene three: when Will was presenting the sword to the governor

Will: Yeah, so, this pretty sword is really well done and yeah, so, yeah, and um, yeah. See? Double folded blades! Isn't it cool? And guess what! I made that! Woo-hoo! Yay! 'Tries to flip the sword but it ended up in the piano' Oops.

Director: Cut!

Take two:

Will: This is double folded blades and with a golden handle! Isn't it great? May I?

Governor: 'hugging the sword' no! This little precioussss is mine!

Director: Cut!

Take three:

Will: This is double –folded blades and it has a golden handle! Cool, right? 'Tries to do a cool hair-flip'

Chambermaids: 'swoons'

Director: Will! What the –beep- is wrong with you today?

Will: 'flashing his most charming grin' I always liked you!

Director: 'blushes' um, cut?


	3. Chapter 3

Scene Four:  
Elizabeth is coming down the stairs in her (ewww) very pretty dress.

Elizabeth: Will! 'Trips landed on her butt and skidded all the way down the stairs' Ouch!

Will: 'sniggers' sucker

Director: cut!

Take 2:

Elizabeth: Will! Hi! How are you! I dream about you last night!

Will: Pervert

Director: Cut!

Take 3:

Elizabeth: Will! You looser! Can't you be more polite to a lady who dreamt about you last night and help me down the stairs?

Will: What the –beep-!

Governor Swann: Will! Didn't Barney teach you manners?

Will: Too poor to pay for television bills

Governor Swann: fair enough

Director: Cut!

Take 4:

Elizabeth: Will! I dream about you last night!

Will: So?

Director: Cut!

Scene 5:

Jack is standing on top of a sail looking macho and all in control until we saw the condition of the shi-boat.

Jack: Muahahahaha! I am the king of the world!

Director: cut!

Take two:

Jack: 'jumps down from the mast but went right through the boat' eh, a little help please.

Director: cut!

Take three:

Jack: 'standing on top of mast'

Shark passing by: oh look! Shark chow!

Jack: shit

Director: cut!

Take four:

Jack: 'standing on top of mast' boy! If only I could have my own ship instead of this piece of crap

Director: Jack, go and take your medicine before coming here please!

Jack: shut up, freak.


	4. Chapter 4

Scene six:

Jack saw some pirates hanging on the rocks

Jack: 'freaks out' mommy!

Director: cut!

Take two:

Jack: do I look like them?

Director: cut!

Take three:

Jack: hi! Suckers! 'Waves'

Skeleton: 'waves back'

Jack: 'had a major freak-out-attack' Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Director: Cut!

Scene seven: Jack is seen sailing on top of the mast because the rest of the boat is underwater. He reaches the port just in time.

Jack: Woo! Look! Isn't that cool?

Director: Cut!

Take two:

Jack: 'misses the port by an inch, hit his head against the wooden planks of the port and fell into the water'

Director: cut!

Scene eight: the tax collector Mr. Paul Stevenson J. Clevins came by

Paul S.: Oi! A shillings please! And tell me your name

Jack: Johnny Depp

Director: Cut!

Take two:

Paul S.: A shilling please and tell me your name

Jack: shut up, here's three shillings and forget about the freaking name

Paul S.: Welcome to Port Royal, Mr. Stinky-poo face

Director: Cut!

Take three:

Paul S.: A shilling please and tell me your name

Jack: take that! You sucker! 'Shoves Paul into the water'

Director: cut!

Scene nine: at the ceremony, the line of navy dudes are marching in

Navy dudes: 'marching in, the front dude trips and the back dudes fell like dominos'

Director: cut!

Take two:

Navy dudes: 'came in and fell again'

Director: cut!

Take three:

Navy dudes: 'marching in, the first guy trips, but used his sword as a support. The sword broke under his weight and he fell again'

Director: um, cut?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five

Scene ten: Jack is trying to get across to the ships when he was stopped by two dudes Mullroy and Murtogg

Mullroy: Stop! This dork is off limits to pigs!

Jacks: Oink!

Director: Cut!

Take two:

Mullroy: stop! This dork is off limits to civilians!

Jack: Oh! Do I look like a civilian to you?

Murtogg: Kinda

Jack: dang

Director: cut!

Take three:

Mullroy: Stop! This dork is off limits to civilians!

Jack: Oh! Stupid of me to not notice! If I see one, I will tell you dudes immediately!

Murtogg: What did you call us?

Jack: huh? What about the word 'dude'?

Murtogg: You are calling us stupid!

Jack: I did?

Murtogg: Are you stupid or what?

Jack: Nope, 'far as I am concern, I am not

Director: Cut! You are all stupid!

Scene 11:  
Murtogg and Mullroy are arguing over the black pearl

Murtogg: But I have seen a black ship with black sails! Honestly!

Mullroy: Let me get this straight, no ship sailing under a man so evil that hell itself spat him out could possibly be sailing under a black sail, and there fore could possibly be the black pearl, is that what you meant?

Murtogg: N-Yes!

Mullroy: so, as I say, there are no REAL ships that can match the interceptor for speed, retard! 'Pouts and started dancing the worm while chanting: "I am smart" over and over again'

Director: CUT!

Scene 12:

Jack was standing in front of the Interceptor's helm, humming to himself and thinking about life. Unfortunately, Murtogg and Mullroy had to ruin his perfect moment.

Murtogg: Oi! Get away from there!

Jack: 'trying to look innocent'

Mullroy; Yeah! Get away from there! And what is your name?

Jack: Mr. Stinky-poo face.

Director: cut!

Take two:

Murtogg: Oi! Get away from there!

Jack: 'gripping the rudder so tightly that it came off' oopsey.

Director: Cut!

Take three:

Murtogg: Oi! Get away from there!

Jack: Hm?

Murtogg: Get away from there!

Mullroy: yeah! What is your name?

Jack: Miss. Smith, or Smithie if you like

Pause

Mullroy: miss?

Jack: No! I said Mr.

Murtogg: no! You said Miss

Mullroy: see? It's two against one now!

Jack; I am smarter than you two put together times three

Mullroy: I am sure our ears have nothing to do with being smart or stupid

Director: CUT!

Jack: Geesh! Stop going 'cut cut cut' all the way can you? You sound like the grass-cutter.

Director: I have the power to fire you, you know?

Jack: What!? No job means no money, no money means no rum!

Director: Ha-ha, good one! Shut it.


	6. Chapter 6

Scene 13:

Commodore Norrington had finally finished his promotion ceremony and presently, all of his Navy dudes were at god knows where, chatting to young ladies and scaring them away. James Norrington had no intention of doing the same. Anyway, he approached Elizabeth and cleared his throat.

James: May I have a moment?

Elizabeth: no, I need to get to the refreshment table, or all the fruit cakes will be gone.

Director: cut.

Take two:

James: May I have a moment?

Elizabeth: Shut up, do I look like a hooker to you?

Director: CUT!

Take three:

James: Yo! Whatcha doing? 'Sniggers (he had being practicing being cool in front of the mirror for a long time. Finally, he had gotten the phrase out)'

Elizabeth: Oo

Director: CUT!

Take four:

James: May I have a moment?

Elizabeth: 'nods' no

Director: um, cut?

Scene 14

James led Elizabeth to the Fort and started his well-practiced marriage proposal.

Take one:

James: 'led her to the Fort over looking the sea and started commenting on the weather, speaking BS and blabbering about hamsters'

Director: CUT!

Take two:

James: You know, my sister has a hamster which is this tiny, and its head is this tiny, and its body is this tiny, and its feet were this tiny, and its toe nails were this tiiiiinnnnnnnnnny! 'Illustrating with his hand to show the tiny-ness'

Director: you watch that's so raven too, eh?

James: Yeah

Director: did you watch the epis-

Elizabeth: CUT!

Take three:

James: I know it may seem forward but I must speak my mind, this promotion has thrown me into blunt relief that I must have a fine woman for a wife, you know? 'Starting perspiring furiously'

Elizabeth: I don't know

Director: CUT!

Take four:

James: This promotion has thrown me into sharp relief, the marriage to a fine woman. You have become a fine woman, Elizabeth.

Elizabeth: 'slapping him' pervert!

Director: Elizabeth, go take your medicine before coming.

Take five:

James: This promotion has thrown me into sharp relief and since the authoress forgot to add a disclaimer in front, I will help her then. She don't own PotC

Director: cut


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I do not own PoTC

Scene 15

_We skip to the part when Elizabeth fell into the ocean_

Take one:

Elizabeth: 'fell backwards into the ocean'

Norrington: Elizabeth? 'Looks around' OMG! You disappeared! Someone call the FBI!

Director: CUT!

Take two:

Elizabeth: 'fell backwards into the sea'

Norrington: Elizabeth? 'Looks around and saw the foams in the water' ELIZABETH!! Crap, I forgot my swim suit, hold on, love, while I go get them

Director: CUT!

Take Three:

Elizabeth: 'fell backwards into the sea'

Norrington: Elizabeth? 'Looks around and saw a cockroach' HOLYSHITMOMMY! 'Fell into the sea himself'

Director: um, cut?

Scene 16

_Jack was entertaining the two dudes with silly jokes_

Jack: ….and they sold me

Director: CUT!

Take two:

Jack: ….with obvious lack of exercise

Director: cut

Take three:

Jack: …and they cooked me alive

Director: 'slaps forehead' cut

HEHE! I know, short chapter, the next one will be longer, though. 


End file.
